I get it. A president’s gotta pick his own crew — after all, it’s his circus, his monkeys. It’s the nature of power, the primal need to surround yourself with yes-men and sycophants who’ll nod when you drop a bombshell or eat the pooch.
The art of choosing a cabinet should be more than just pulling names from a hat labeled “Coke-fueled lunatics” or “Self-interested hacks.” There’s a fine line between a team and a cult of incompetence, and in Trump’s case, that line disappeared long ago.
But Linda McMahon??? Linda McMahon as Secretary of Education? Good God, it’s like the death rattle of American democracy itself — wrapped in spandex and smothered in fake tan. Here we have a woman who built her career on the back of body slams, chair shots, and scripted “drama” masquerading as a sport.
And, now she’s charged with molding the minds of the next generation. This isn’t just a bad joke, it’s a full-blown catastrophe. The Department of Education is now under the control of a woman whose qualifications for teaching anything are as dubious as the legitimacy of the WWE’s “real” matches.
Let’s break it down: Linda McMahon is a self-made billionaire who made her fortune by exploiting violence, misogyny, and the lowest common denominator of human behavior — all packaged in neon lights and pyrotechnics. But hey, that’s entertainment, right? That’s America. She and her husband, Vince, took a trashy little wrestling operation and turned it into a global empire by selling people the idea that their ignorance and depravity were worth celebrating.
And now, she’s been put in charge of the education system. You could not have picked a more qualified individual if you’d gone out and hired the guy who invented the electric chair. The woman has zero experience in actual education or teaching, unless you count the lessons she’s learned in corporate profiteering and shameless self-promotion. Her whole approach to education will probably involve turning classrooms into “smackdowns”, shoving kids into the ring and ignoring anything that doesn’t make a quick buck.
And it gets worse. McMahon has been a loyal foot soldier in the Republican war on public education for years, pushing for charter schools, for-profit education, and the dismantling of anything resembling a social safety net for poor students. Her vision for the Department of Education is clear: privatize it all, make it a business because it’s all about the bottom line, baby.
In the world of Linda McMahon, it’s not about creating smart, well-rounded citizens — it’s about creating a generation of eager consumers and docile workers, willing to accept whatever garbage is thrown at them. It’s a nightmare scenario, and unfortunately, it’s one we’re stuck in.
Welcome to the future, where education is just another wrestling match.